I had every hope that I might be able to put up a picture of the fully assembled second edition Ork army – which, amusingly, yields a playable if sub-optimal force under contemporary rules, or would do if I owned a couple of Battlewagons. Those of you with 1991 Ork Battlewagon kits that you don’t want should bury them in an old ammunition box: one of my Underground Agents will contact you in ref. reparations. Anyway, the Dreadnoughts and a few of the characters are still in the Dettol bath and the Skorcher doesn’t fit on the base I had in mind for it, so there are some slight delays there and I’ve missed my nerd birthday. Heigh ho.
I’m in the market for a Black Coach just to finish off my Vampire Counts army too, now that the Beat Ronin has very kindly furnished me with the classic Zombie Dragon that I love so much. Not that I have any intentions of playing games with any of this tat, but I’m resigned to myself as more collector than gamer now that I’m hurtling towards thirty and have little patience for worming my way into yet another gaming group and tolerating the noise of the venues and all that jazz. It’d be nice to actually get some SAGA games in at some stage.
The aforementioned Ronin has been paid off with a Razorback which I’ll ship to Australia any day now. Putting that thing together has given me the slight itch to build GW kits again (they can be quite fun sometimes), but I find it hard to think about just having kits in isolation, so I invariably start thinking about armies and the whole rotten business starts up again. You know the manner of thing, gentle reader: “well if I had this and that and two of those that’s about that many points and blah blah blah.” That’s all well and good as a theory exercise on a rainy Sunday or even a challenge (nail together an army out of this grab-bag of bargain bits you found on eBay) but in terms of actually buying all the stuff and bothering to paint it… nah.
I’d still like to build one of those plastic Daemon Princes though. And the Terminator Lord. And a Land Raider. And a Forgefiend. And a Heldrake. And then it’s such a small leap into an actual army, all that’s needed is some acceptable-looking Chaos Space Marines: Forge World conversion packs? And since I’m on Forge World’s website, let’s have a look at those super-special Word Bearers kits, and… oh shit, there’s a Chaos Knight model now? And oh wait, the Warpsmith and Dark Apostle are two of the best Chaos models going, can’t be without those, but that’s four HQs, so I’ll need Allies or to go Unbound and play to table… which feels kinda dumb after all those years of exposure to the competitive game, and just taking whatever and playing with it doesn’t scratch my theory itch, so let’s look at Troops again, oh shit, don’t you need Cultists…
Dunno why it happens with Chaos. It might be because Chaos armies feel achievable; I still think of them as elite and small and affordable, even though they really haven’t been since third edition. Orks are easier to put myself off since two or three huge mobs of thirty lads mean lots of money and time on boring kits. And yet I actually own an Ork army and have spent about two hundred quid on it: aren’t I weird? I remember back in the day that the two hundred quid mark was a bit of a golden figure: that was generally my budget for the year, as a late-teenager, and generally what a 1500-2000 point army would cost you if you avoided the really expensive kits.
Sod it, I’m going to price up a Chaos Space Marine army. Not like I have much else to do this evening. Apparently I might have fibromalygia now, which seems to mean constant joint pain and cramp that escalates to near-paralytic levels every few days. Also, my chest feels like it’s going to collapse when I sneeze. The upshot of it all’s that I don’t get out much any more, which may explain why the urge to blog has made itself felt. The urge to game, too. I keep looking at Hordes again (say what you like, there’s some lush models in the Skorne range and I used to be good at playing Trollbloods) and then reminding myself of everything that I hate about that game, which boils down to “I miss playing it over Goth Dave’s kitchen table when it had only just come out and nobody was spending hundreds of pounds a year on keeping up with the Joneses.”
Still, we’re a long way from 2005 now. Times change, and so must I…