A little later than anticipated, here are some pictures of Oldhammer 40K Orks. There are others like them, but these are mine.
After all adding up, checking books, finding spare pistols, counting on fingers, knitting, purling and taking away, the army comes to something in the region of 2250 points (under second edition rules) and doesn’t even have all the Wargear cards it’s allowed.
Against my better judgement, I have always been of the opinion that Ork armies need lots of footsloggers. It’s quite satisfying shoving a huge mass of models around – the only tradeoff is that it’s considered good form to paint them at some stage. That might be why most of mine are Goffs (at least half black, so done in one layer). Also, these aren’t sitting-around-in-poet-shirt-having-a-mope goffs, these are go-out-and-get-pissed-and-stomp-around-listening-to-KMFDM goffs. Two units of fifteen Skarboyz, with a few chainswords scattered through for parrying and a plasma gun each in case they have to slow down and shoot at things for a turn or two. Nob for each with a power fist because a) they can and b) it makes them viable under the current rules if I fancy trolling the Newhammer scallies by fielding models older than they are.
Bozgof is exactly the same model who led my original Ork army back in the Nineties. He probably even has the same kustom blasta. His weaponry’s pretty much dictated by the model (power axe, spike arm, bionik leg) and I’m giving him a kustom blasta because he’s got BS6 and might as well make something of it.
Nogbad is an older Goff Nob model with a bit of pin vice work done to drill through his hand and slide a brass rod banner pole in there (with the top bit off the Dreadnought). This is actually the second attempt at his arm; the first one pinged off into the distance when I was trimming the pole down and is somewhere on my horrible telly-static-looking carpet. I don’t usually like mucking about with pin vices, but if I wanted an Ork Battle Standard Bearer (and I did, because I don’t want to trust the vital “stop running away” stick to a weedy Gretchin) I had no choice. Surprisingly easy. Deceptively easy. I suspect trickery.
It took some patient hunting, seeking and sniping to get my hands on a Goff Weirdboy who still had the top on his staff. This one was bent when he arrived (stop that sniggering) and is going to need careful handling lest he end up like every other Goff Weirdboy model I’ve ever seen. I paid more for him than some of the units in the army, but I regret nothing.
Mek-Gar is the most eccentric model I’ve built for this army, I reckon. The idea came when looking through my first job lot of Orky bits and the second edition Wargear cards. Teleskopic Legs and a metal body from the old Bionik Boyz range, plastic arms with the big shoulderpads from the Rogue Trader Boyz, a busted-up Stormboy jump pack, a weird hammer thing that turned up in a job lot and remains unidentified, and part of the Planet Killer. One Mekboy who can keep up with the Dreadnought (Teleskopik Legs) and chuck down a nice invisible, impenetrable wall for the Boyz to advance behind (Force Field Projekta).
The Blood Axes are there because of Rogue Trader rules: only they and the Evil Sunz can bring extra Mekaniaks along and Blood Axes are a bit cheaper. Also, they have the best Nob model doing, and can have multi-meltas. By the way, you may have noticed that one of them looks a bit… strange. Say hello to Kurtz Brando, agent of the Ordo Xenos, assigned to infiltrate Kilgore’s Blood Axe household and destablise the Waaagh from within. Unfortunately, the psychically-sensitive Brando has gone a bit native from surplus Waaagh-power, and now he’s starting to think the Orks are on to something. At some point, the Imperium’s going to realise his methods of manipulating the Orks have become ‘questionable’, and do something about him. (One of the heads from a Rogue Trader Ork was missing, but for some reason I had a Rogue Trader Imperial Guard head and a Space Marine boltgun lying around. This seemed like the logical solution.)
The Snakebites represent something of a sore point. I didn’t originally want any, but in second edition rules only they can bring along extra Runtherds, and I do want a Runtherd looking after each of my war machine crews (or Gretchin mobs if I ever find the right period of metal Gretchin). If I can find enough of the nifty metal Snakebites I might build some of those instead and fold these guys into the other mobs.
Ye gods that’s a bad photo. (Deal with it: this isn’t Von’s Super Rad Photography Blog.) Here we have the Orks who hang around behind the Snakebites and try to hurt things from a safe distance, including my Squig Katapult and Hop Splatta Kannon Gun (it had a bit of an identity crisis between the Black Codex and the first Codex Orks). Note the mega-armoured Nob hanging around in the middle somewhere. I can’t resell him with an arm missing and I can’t find a replacement arm anywhere, so he’s had a plastic power claw stuck on and now he’s going to be an expensive, inefficient squad leader, because why not? He’s not my favourite Bad Moon model, but he’ll do.
I could very easily have built a much, much bigger mob of Bad Moons with plasma guns (yes, they can all have plasma guns if they want). Seriously, there’s so many plasma guns hanging around, just because the plastic Ork Weapons sprues all had one on there. It’s sort of tempting and I’m not ruling out nicking a few models back from the Snakebite unit to bulk this one out. Also, one of my favourite Weirdboy models – the one who looks like he’s having a good time. I prefer two middling psykers to one big expensive one who is, ultimately, still a deathtrap in a flak vest. Most of the battle reports I’ve read turned south when the Orks lost their Warphead, so I’m going to try building a force that doesn’t need one.
Expensive, fragile, and potentially hilarious. Also some of the most wobbly models I’ve ever built. Snagadak is an unreleased Deathskull Nob who’s probably worth loadsamoney to the right collector, but I have stuck a kustom shoota onto him (with much finagling of arms that were designed for a slanted shoulder joint, not the straight-on joint of the Nineties models) and some big shoulderpads and he’s staying with me.
At the moment the collection is a bit lacking in fast stuff, partly because I want to keep it compatible with Rogue Trader rules to the best possible extent and partly because I think five Wartraks is quite enough. I do have my eye on some Snakebite Boarboyz though; five of those plus a Nob and a Bigboss could be had for about twenty or thirty quid and they’d give me another wave of speedier stuff to run around making a nuisance of itself. They’d also give me a home for the handful of power swords and axes that are left over from putting the Skarboyz together.
From right to left: spare Mekboy, Goff Big Mob (ordinary Boyz with a couple of heavy plasma guns), Goff Boyz Mob (ordinary Boyz with bolters, sadly not an option in second edition, although they’ll serve well as Minderz if I decide to take a Warphead after all), and the Rokk Band, the first bits I acquired for the project (back before there was a project at all).
Is it over? Not really. I’d like some of those nifty metal Snakebites (on foot and on boars, and with two units of them I can probably justify a Big Boss on a Cyboar, making them the largest subordinate tribe in the Waaagh and an independent skirmishing force in their own right). Some Gretchin would be nice, although hardly anyone seems to have bought the cute Colin Dixon Gretchin back in the day, so I might have to swallow my distaste and go for either Gorkamorka metals (quite commonplace) or one-piece plastics (half and half Space Crusade and second edition 40K would be good, one unit with autoguns to screen the artillery and one unit with blunderbusses to screen the troops). I’d also like at least one Battlewagon, since they’re free to a good Retinue under Rogue Trader rules and will be quite useful for ferrying my Nobz Mob (or a small mob of Goffs with chainswords, led by my assorted Oddboyz) around the place.
Worryingly, I’ve discovered that my old mate Curis, of Ninjabread and Mantic Games fame, is also working on an Oldhammer Ork army, although his are mostly Bad Moons because he’s a masochist and likes painting yellow for some reason. Nonetheless, he’s already bought a space Dreadnought and some Rogue Trader Stormboyz off me, and I’m waiting for the moment when he starts beating me to Battlewagons. We shall have to arrange some sort of Ork-off for the New Year. After SmogCon. For which I really need to get those Skorne painted…